I’ve always been a little late to the party. I never knew what I wanted to do after college. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do in college (I decided on my major junior year). I can’t even pick a hair color to have for more than two weeks (evidence above).

I don’t know what this says about me. It’s something I don’t like about myself. It feels negative- like everyone else can commit to something but I have to poke holes through every idea until it rips apart completely.

After college, I landed a job at a recruitment agency because my friend responded to the close friends story I posted where I said, “Can someone find me a job”. It was great at first. Over the 3+ years of me being there I started to feel resentment. I was angry at myself for staying at a job that didn’t fulfill me, but was too tired to look for another one. I would come home from work and immediately start to create something: painting, airbrushing, drawing, using clay, anything. It would keep me up at night and I got no sleep. I was so over tired I could never show up to my job on time. The cycle got really bad and I felt trapped.

I really wish I was one of those people who can wake up and go to work and not question what they are doing with their life every 5 minutes. It’s annoying and depressing. I needed to work so why can’t I just be all disciplined and sit there and do the mindless work and get paid then go home. It just doesn’t come natural to me I guess.

One night as I was watching SpongeBob (Yes…. me at the grown age of 26 very much enjoy watching SpongeBob) Patrick said something that made me pause the show and write it down.  “A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance”. I couldn’t get that quote out of my head for the next few days.

I quit my job a few days later. I am really grateful for the support from my family and friends. It was a really hard choice but I needed to feel like a human again. I also needed to take my creativity and make something tangible. It had been years of me experimenting with different mediums trying to figure out which one should stick. I just needed to make something real- then I could spend the time to make it better.

I stayed up the night I quit my job researching how to make your own small business, your own website, owning a domain, etc.

I have gotten a piece of me back after starting this brand. It gives me a space to create. It gives me a platform to show it. It gives me the experience I always wanted. I am very grateful for it all.

I don’t know if this will ever be a big company. I hope so. But I also know that I need to surrender to the universe in that sense. It makes me happy and for now that is good enough to keep going. I’ve been struggling with defining success lately but I think it’s just enjoying what you do.

I love talking with all of you guys on instagram and hear ing your design ideas. I hope you know I am always here to chat if need be. I know how important it is to connect with other humans and I will always offer open ears (and probably some sub-par advice but I’ll try).

Thanks for reading and being here. I love you lots!

Don’t be a stranger!